Friday, January 25, 2013

How To Live In Exciting Times

"May you live in exciting times."

It's the curse nobody ever wants to hear uttered, only second to one other:

"May your child grow to be just like you."

Well, fortunately, my child isn't just like me, thank goodness, but for the past few days, I've been living in very exciting times.  Clearly, I've upset the balance of karma.

You probably remember my car's battery going out, causing me to need an immediate replacement.  It was frustrating, but not frustrating enough to fit the "exciting times" label.  My car is now much louder, but it works far more efficiently.  All is well.

But then I discovered a waterfall in my bathroom.  

Cascade of water flowing onto female figure's head.  She yells, "Wha...?  Eeek!!!"

As I had not actually installed a waterfall in the ceiling at any point, I was able to deduce that perhaps I needed a plumber to fix a leak.

The plumber came by the next day, but mere minutes before he was scheduled to arrive,

Insulin pump, smoke colored.  It has a smile with jagged teeth, yellow eyes, horns, and a tail.  Screen Reads: GAME OVER. Bwahahahahaha!!!

My insulin pump had a button failure, which basically means it died.  

(For those of you who don't know, I've been a type 1 diabetic since before I was old enough to go to school, hence the need for an insulin pump.  This is why you'll occasionally see things like my post about various non-sugar sweeteners.)

I had to reschedule the plumber for much later in the afternoon.  He came and went, and that problem was fixed.  My new insulin pump was scheduled to arrive the following day, so stress levels decreased on that front as well.  Times were exciting, but still not exciting enough to be curse worthy.


Laundry had been piling up for a while, because there was something wrong with the washer.  

I've had to hand wash several things, just so that we could actually have clothing to wear.  Needless to say, I was raised with machines doing this work for me, so hand washing took forever.  Quite a few heaps of clothing were decorating my home.

My daughter, naturally, loved this.  She made quite a few fortresses using pants, shirts, and underclothes with chairs placed underneath for support.

The good news?  The appliance guy was coming to save the day!

Happy face with hearts and rainbows

His service call took less than 5 minutes.

"Wow!  How exciting!  He's already fixed it!"  I thought with immense joy.


"Well, all I had to do was turn it on to spin cycle.  The bearings are busted."

"So... can it be fixed?"

"Sure... if you want to spend over six hundred dollars."

Stick figure looking up at the sky, hands on face, screaming, "Nooooooo!!!!"

I was a little saddened by this.  I figure I'll have a new washer relatively soon, but I'll be hand washing until then.  This could actually be kind of cool...

I could be the only person I know that owns and uses a washboard! Then, when the washer is replaced, I could turn it into an instrument.

Like Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas!!!!

Yeah, ok... maybe not.  The idea sure paints an interesting picture, though, right?

How does a person actually manage to come out on top when they're living in exciting times?  Well, what I've learned in the past few days is that:

  • Humor makes everything less painful.  Seriously.  The washer is busted, but I'm not reduced to tears, because all I have to do is imagine myself playing in a jug band.  Extra fun points are given for imagining fur all over my skin.  Oh, wait... I'm already a sasquatch, so I guess that's not too hard to do!
  • Remember that eventually, this too shall end.  Yeah, yeah... we've all heard this, and by now it seems pretty meaningless, but!  My car battery was replaced, a new insulin pump is arriving at any moment, and the plumber was finally able to come by and fix that leak.  Panic doesn't fix things any faster, so there's really no point to it.
  • Focus on problem solving.  Wallowing in self pity can be cathartic for a little while, but eventually you've eaten all the chocolate in the house, watched all the television you can handle, and stared at yourself in the mirror too many times, trying to produce the most screen-worthy tears and lip pouts possible.  At that point, it's time to move on.  Figure out how to fix the problems, step by step, and can in anyone that can help.  You don't have to go it alone.  Just be sure to save some chocolate for anyone that comes by to aid you.  Everyone needs chocolate.

Basically, when things seem to get bad, and you're living in the exciting times of that age old curse, you need to try your best to roll with it.  You don't stand in the center of a flame engulfed house and cry with self pity. You use logic (or even instinct), grab your loved ones, and get the heck out.

Do the same in other cases, as well.

Stick figure running with a small stick figure tucked under one arm, yelling, "The refrigerator doesn't work! Run!!!" while the small figure thinks, "Huh?"

Well, not exactly the same... but you get the point.  Don't let the situation win.  

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